The Holidays are Here

Our goal is not to repeat the annual gift giving “feeding frenzy” at the holidays. The scene you may remember could have been watching your kids wildly ripping open gifts, hardly looking at each then tearing the next one open. It couldn’t get worse… or could it?  This year, let’s not repeat going into debt the way many people did last year. This holiday season is by far the largest in terms of spending. The total Black Friday spending this year rose 6.6 percent over last year; including online and in-store sales. Online revenue boasted a growth of 24.3 percent over last year. Despite the economy, 2010 spending was an astonishing $135.16 billion, a 5.5 percent increase from 2009. With that trend in mind, 2011 holiday spending is expected to reach an astounding $142.6 billion or more, suggesting we are certainly in a repeat “feeding frenzy.”

It seems that those good ole’ days when gift giving brought a message that “I care about you” are gone.  Wouldn’t you love to instill—or re-instill-- those traditional values in your children?  If you do, you can start by using some of these helpful tips.

First, make sure everyone in the family has a gift-planning calendar. Since you already know the dates of Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanza or any other holidays on which your family exchanges gifts, it will be simple to get started creating a calendar. Next, mark birthdays, anniversaries, graduations or any other special events that will require a gift. Your children will want to include their friends’ birthdays, too.

But that is just a start. Knowing when a birthday is coming up is important…but knowing when to begin to save for the gift is just as important.  A “start saving” date should be marked on everyone’s calendar…or in the desktop organizer on the family computer.

Make sure your kids understand the importance of appropriate giving.  An over generous gift can indicate too much need for approval or control, it can embarrass the recipient or it can signal the beginning of unhealthy materialistic competition.

You can explain to kids that parents and grandparents love all gifts equally, no matter how much has been spent on it. And suggest that the kids “pool” their resources to buy one gift for special relatives, each child contributing as much as they can afford based on a percentage of their allowance.

Once your children know how much they’re going to be spending on gifts, they can begin to make a saving schedule.  By dividing the cost of a gift by the number of weeks needed to save for the purchase will help them determine when they should begin to save.  Then they can mark the date on the calendar and set their saving plan in motion.

For those very important gifts–perhaps parents or grandparents–you may want to help your kids get that special gift.  The kids should continue to work towards their goal of saving the money needed to buy something special for Grammy and Grandpa but you can help them with a matching fund. In other words, if they’ve saved diligently according to the saving schedule they’ve set up, you’ll match the total.

Gift giving is mostly about “thoughtfulness.” A gift says, “I care.” It comes through most eloquently by how much thought has gone into the gift’s selection not its price.

And don’t forget you don’t have to spend money on every gift. In fact, you shouldn’t. Some gifts shouldn’t be “money-based.”  Help your children to give “gift vouchers” for something.  And that could be the best gift of all.

“Gift vouchers” can be geared to the recipient’s interests.  Like cleaning golf balls for your favorite golfer, cooking a vegetarian meal for the family vegan or cataloging a collection of baseball cards for your baseball lover.

“Gift vouchers” can be redeemed for running errands to the store, for yard work or for babysitting. One of the best ones was suggested by my own children.  It’s called a “No Fighting Zone” voucher, good for three fights. If my children started squabbling, I pulled out the voucher and the kids had to stop fighting. (P.S… This actually works!)
Let your kids come up with their own ideas for giving, just remember: “I care” and “I love you” never comes with a price tag.