Make Your Brain Happy: Earn Your Money

Have you bought that lottery ticket and dreamed of the bliss that big pay-off could yield?  If you have—you are not alone.

But, researchers at Emory University, with too much time on their hands, did a study awhile ago and determined that people who actually earned their money were happier.  So, all you lottery winners and trust-fund babies step aside to those who earn it.  We all thought you were happier, but it seems we working folks are… who knew?

Emory University researchers had measured brain activity in the striatum—that’s the part of the brain associated with reward processing and pleasure.  They had two groups of volunteers.  One group had to work to get their money while playing a computer game and the other group just got money without having to earn it.
The brains of those who had to work for their money were more stimulated.  It seemed the brain was happier.

As a side note—some of the big lottery winners may not be happy because they blow through their winnings at a shockingly fast pace.  Some years ago, Oprah had me do a show about big lottery winners—the people who won over $100,000,000.  We found that the people Oprah had me work with not only squandered their winnings, but went on to declare bankruptcy.  In fact, the stats showed that over 90% declared bankruptcy.  I even coached a man who won over $100,000,000 twice—and blew it! Unfortunately, my advice began with, “What were you thinking? Are you kidding?”  Most of their  issues centered around their fundamental lack of any money savvy and their friends and family expecting and getting a share of the pie. (But twice? Come on!)

Ok, back to the study.  The study did show that people who won the lottery were not happier a year after they won.  We also know from other psychological studies that people get a great deal of satisfaction out of the work they do.  We also know that we were designed to work to obtain the things we need and want.  Without that stimulus, we can suffer from depression.  Take a look at our unemployment rates and the devastating effects it’s had not only monetarily, but in terms of people’s self-esteem.

The moral of the story—America, we want and need to work, we are not looking for the hand-out.  Congress, stop acting like spoiled children (sorry kids, I didn’t mean to insult you) and you need to get back to work and come up with solutions to our job crisis.

Where Do Those Kids Get Those Ideas?

There’s an interesting phenomenon that happens right about the same time that our children turn from our sweet little kids into Freddie Krueger, or monsters from outer space… We start turning into some kind of different creatures, too, often creatures that we don’t approve of all that much.

You know the person I mean. The mom that we smirked and rolled our eyes at in the store when we were teenagers—the one who was only there to buy some light bulbs, but somehow kept adding giant squirt guns, giant boxes of popsicles, and other stuff to her shopping cart as her kids kept goading for more.

And you know the kids I mean—the ones who know exactly what they’re doing. When I wrote Money Still Doesn’t Grow on Trees, I referred to something called the, “nagging factor”. That’s the number of times kids say that they have to nag a parent before he/she will give in and buy them what they want. Guess how many times they have to nag us? The answer is “Nine”.

And face it… kids in a store have nothing better to do with their time… torturing us is almost a hobby, or a way of life. And, if you don’t put a stop to it, you’re supporting the behavior—especially if you’re going to give in.

I know… saying, “no” is a tough. But how about if they nagged, “Gee Mom, I’d really like you to buy me some drugs? Please, please buy them for me?” Obviously, ridiculous… 9 times, 200 times, it wouldn’t matter. Let’s look at this, of course you’d say, “No.” It might make them happy in the short run, but you know the destructiveness in the long run—no choice.

It can be the same thing with material items. Not as awful, but it’s the same thing. Giving something to a child because they nag or beg is pleasurable in the short run to the child—and to you, if you hear, “I love you, Mom. You’re the greatest”—but in the long run it teaches a lesson that you don’t want to teach.

Giving in is all about guilt. We give in to our kids, and later to our teens, because we feel guilty for one reason or another, and pretty soon we’ve become people we don’t much like being.

Where does this guilt come from—especially in the middle of a recession? Let’s look in the mirror and see what messages we are sending to our kids. (In terms of the guilt—I’m a Jewish mother, so I’m comfortable with my genetics—if you’re not, see a professional!)

Saying, “No” is tough—but often necessary. Try it the next time the kids nag. “No” worked for our parents, we wouldn’t have dreamed to keep nagging. If you stick to, “No” and don’t give in and reinforce the “nagging factor” behavior, it should also work for you.

Let me know.