STORM OF EMOTIONS

In the 1980's I created the topic of "kids and money" and in the following years I have
written 26 books and founded the Children's Financial Network to promote financial
literacy. Along with teaching families to become money savvy, I have also, always,
stressed the importance of sharing and giving of one's self in order to be "Citizens of the
Community."

In a time of crisis, such as the devastating after-effects of hurricane Sandy, we are
reminded of the inherent good of the American people. So many have been directly
effected by losing their homes or their livelihood or even a loved one. The rest of us
who have been fortunate enough to escape unharmed or perhaps inconvenienced,
have, once again, seen compassion in action. This is also a time of introspection.

All around us we see our first responders risking their lives to help strangers in crisis.
Neighbors are helping neighbors. Government agencies begin to assess damages and
to offer assistance to those that have been displaced. Charitable organizations step up
to the task of offering aid. Citizens rush to donate to those charities. Even politicians
put their differences aside in order to get work done.

I am one of the fortunate who has only been inconvenienced with the loss of utilities. As
the storm began to move into my neighborhood, I found myself alone in the dark -
listening to the rain pour down and the trees brush against my home. I was afraid for
my safety and my property, but my overwhelming concern was for my family - my kids
and my grandkids - and for everyone else being touched by this storm.

I was able to get to a friend's home for comfort and safety. Eventually, I was able to
contact my family and was assured that everyone was OK.

So many others were less fortunate. Just in my community, one family was left
homeless after a fire destroyed their home. In another tragedy, a couple was killed
when a tree fell on their car - leaving behind two young children who were also in the
car.

I am an advocate of teaching our kids about budgeting their allowance, and as part of
that education I teach that a portion of the weekly allowance be set aside for charity.
This week I proudly watched my friend's son, who upon learning of the neighborhood
tragedies, rushed to get his container filled with the charity money from his allowance.
Before I understood where he had disappeared to, I heard - "Mom, we have to take my
charity money and give it to that family whose house burned down." He followed up
with, "Where are they going to live? We have to help them."

I know that charitable giving will always be a part of this young man's life. The lessons
and habits we learn when we are young shape who we become as adults. Teach your
children to be givers - also teach by example. Remember that giving can be more than
donating money, you can also donate your time, clothing and even household items. Be
sure to get your family involved.

That generous young man is right - "We have to help." We should all do what we can to
help our neighbors. We can make a real difference.

PAY TODAY OR LAYAWAY

The Christmas buying season is here even earlier this year.  We're looking forward to Thanksgiving but the stores already have their sights on maximizing their Christmas bottom line.  Holiday sales are expected to rise 4.1 percent this year.

It seems that our kids just went back to school and the leaves are still on the trees, but the major department stores have already begun their layaway service.  In fact WalMart and Toy “r” Us began a full month earlier this year.

Layaway is a good tool to help you with your shopping and budget.  Using layaway has several advantages – helps you avoid impulse buying, forces you to budget and helps you to avoid getting into trouble with credit card debt.  You can do your own layaway at home with your kids.

In MONEY DOESN'T GROW ON TREES, I teach my Four-Jar Budget System which is saving and budgeting for kids.  Allowance money is divided among the four jars: Charity, Quick Cash, Medium-Term Savings and Long-Term Savings.

Medium-Term Savings is actually layaway at home.  It teaches deferred gratification.  Help your child make a goal to save for.  Go window-shopping at your favorite department store or on the internet.  The age of the child should determine how long the saving should take.  The older the child the more ambitious the goal. Yes, you're teaching delayed gratification, but you're also teaching gratification -   three weeks is a long time to a toddler.  It's a good idea to print out a picture of the item being saved for and attach it to the Medium-Term Savings Jar as an incentive.

When my kids were young we used this method.  You may be surprised to find out how different your kids are from one another.  My son decided he wanted a Walkman – the prehistoric ancestor to the iPod.  My daughter had her sights on a special pair of designer jeans – some of you might be old enough to remember all those commercials  with Brooke Shields – those jeans were all the rage.  

Both kids were certain they knew what they wanted and were patient enough to save up but a funny thing happened along the way.  My son never wavered.  He knew he wanted that Walkman and nothing was going to stop him.  After a few weeks of saving, those must-have jeans no longer seemed so must-have to her.  She decided – and it was her decision – that a pair of regular jeans would be just great.  The logo on the rear pocket wasn't as attractive as it had been.

They both learned valuable lessons.  My son treasured his Walkman for years.  In fact, he took amazing care of it.  My daughter discovered that it might not be so important to have the most expensive item just because it's the trendiest.

As with all good tools you need to do your homework in order to use in-store layaway safely and correctly.  Make sure you read the fine print before you begin.  Putting an item on layaway involves getting into a contract with the store.  Read the rules, payment schedule and fees.  Some stores have eliminated up-front fees.  Others even offer a bonus gift card when your order is paid for. Make sure you really want to buy an item before putting it on layaway.

If you decided not to purchase an item, fees can be costly.  For consumers who don't pay on time or decide to back out, money will be lost [wasted].  Not only will you not get your merchandise, you also don't get your service fees back.  In many cases there is also a cancellation fee.  You will get back any payments you made minus the fees – in the form of a store credit.

Layaway at home or layaway at your favorite stores, it's going to be a long shopping season.  I want you to stay financially healthy.  If the stores are already trying lure your dollars away from you, it is certainly time to make your holiday budget.  After you make your own budget be sure to help your kids with theirs.  Be honest with your budget and be sure to stick to it.  Don't go into debt in the “spirit” of giving.

You Don't Know How Lucky You Are!

Charity has to be taught, and shown to kids for them to “Get It”.  Yelling the words, “You don’t know how lucky you are!” can seem educational, but they’re really not.  None of us realize how lucky we are.   


“Giving” refers not just to money, but also to you.  On Christmas morning, I used to take my kids into a local hospital to serve meals to elderly people who had nowhere to go.  My kids “Got It”.  My big revelation came when my son, Rhett, was 8-years-old.  We were in a small bodega in New York City so that he could use some of his “Quick Cash” to buy some Tootsie Roll Pops (I was trying to empower him to make his own choices, and was a little liberal on the sugar choice!). 

He had his pops and his money and was standing in line to pay and in front of him was a homeless woman who had a cup of change and an orange.  She dumped out the coins and the owner of the store told her to put back the orange, because she didn’t have enough money.  As she collected the change, my son watched and interrupted and said, “I have my Quick Cash with me and I’d like to buy you the orange, I just need to put back the pops and start to count out my change again.”  


Every eye in the store turned to this little kid.  The woman thanked him and refused to take his money.  Rhett became insistent, saying “I work for my money and I get to choose how I spend it and I want to buy you this orange.  May I?”  Still she was reluctant, but he persevered.  “Don’t you know the rules?” he said.  “This is my money and I chose to buy you the orange, because someday when I don’t have the money, someone will be there to buy me some food.”  


The air was sucked out of the room and filled with sobbing mothers (me included).  The transaction took place, and Rhett joined me in the back of the store, where I was sobbing, “I’m so proud of you for doing this”.  And he said, “You are not supposed to be proud of me when I’m doing something I’m supposed to do.  You are supposed to be proud of me when I do something that I’m not supposed to do!”  Okay, he was right and, yes, the money lessons work!