STORM OF EMOTIONS

In the 1980's I created the topic of "kids and money" and in the following years I have
written 26 books and founded the Children's Financial Network to promote financial
literacy. Along with teaching families to become money savvy, I have also, always,
stressed the importance of sharing and giving of one's self in order to be "Citizens of the
Community."

In a time of crisis, such as the devastating after-effects of hurricane Sandy, we are
reminded of the inherent good of the American people. So many have been directly
effected by losing their homes or their livelihood or even a loved one. The rest of us
who have been fortunate enough to escape unharmed or perhaps inconvenienced,
have, once again, seen compassion in action. This is also a time of introspection.

All around us we see our first responders risking their lives to help strangers in crisis.
Neighbors are helping neighbors. Government agencies begin to assess damages and
to offer assistance to those that have been displaced. Charitable organizations step up
to the task of offering aid. Citizens rush to donate to those charities. Even politicians
put their differences aside in order to get work done.

I am one of the fortunate who has only been inconvenienced with the loss of utilities. As
the storm began to move into my neighborhood, I found myself alone in the dark -
listening to the rain pour down and the trees brush against my home. I was afraid for
my safety and my property, but my overwhelming concern was for my family - my kids
and my grandkids - and for everyone else being touched by this storm.

I was able to get to a friend's home for comfort and safety. Eventually, I was able to
contact my family and was assured that everyone was OK.

So many others were less fortunate. Just in my community, one family was left
homeless after a fire destroyed their home. In another tragedy, a couple was killed
when a tree fell on their car - leaving behind two young children who were also in the
car.

I am an advocate of teaching our kids about budgeting their allowance, and as part of
that education I teach that a portion of the weekly allowance be set aside for charity.
This week I proudly watched my friend's son, who upon learning of the neighborhood
tragedies, rushed to get his container filled with the charity money from his allowance.
Before I understood where he had disappeared to, I heard - "Mom, we have to take my
charity money and give it to that family whose house burned down." He followed up
with, "Where are they going to live? We have to help them."

I know that charitable giving will always be a part of this young man's life. The lessons
and habits we learn when we are young shape who we become as adults. Teach your
children to be givers - also teach by example. Remember that giving can be more than
donating money, you can also donate your time, clothing and even household items. Be
sure to get your family involved.

That generous young man is right - "We have to help." We should all do what we can to
help our neighbors. We can make a real difference.

EVERYONE NEEDS GROCERIES

Aside from working, paying taxes and sleeping, everyone has to eat.  Dining out is a luxury.  Dining in is practical, healthy and financially sound.  This means grocery shopping is a part of life.  It also provides valuable life lessons for your children: budgeting, making smart choices and savvy shopping tips.

Do your homework.  Before you go shopping have your kids help you take an inventory of your groceries.  This will help you decide what needs replenishing and helps eliminate buying duplicate items.  Think of what meals you will be making during the week. Make a shopping list.

Take advantage of money-saving strategies.  Using coupons, enrolling in your grocery store's customer loyalty program and being aware of rebates will all save you a significant amount of money.  Make this a fun project: once a week hunt for coupons in your local newspaper with your kids.  Generally local newspapers have one day a week for coupon offers.  Keep in mind that just because you have a coupon for an item it's not a bargain if you don't need that item.  Check coupons against your shopping list. If you have a coupon for an item on your list put an asterisk next to that item to remind you.

Remember that store brands can save you quite a bit of money over regular-priced name brand items.  According to Consumer Reports, blind taste tests revealed that companies have made such great improvements in their private-label brands that it is often difficult to distinguish taste between the two. This can save an average of 30 percent off your grocery bill.

Common wisdom suggests eating a healthy snack before grocery shopping helps cut down on impulse buying.  Sticking to your list will also help with impulse buying.  Allow your child one healthy impulse buy such as a piece of fruit or some other nutritious snack and set a price limit.  This will help your child learn the value of using a choice wisely...it will also make your shopping trip just a little more pleasant!

Finally, pay attention to the check-out process.  Have your child watch as items are scanned to be sure you are being charged accurately.  If you feel an item has wrung up incorrectly, question the clerk.  If necessary ask for a manager to check the price on the shelf against the scanned price.  Some grocery stores will even give you the item for free, or some other reward for an incorrect scanner price.

Go green and put your kid in charge of bringing reusable shopping bags with you. This helps to reduce the energy and natural resources required to make paper or plastic grocery bags and keeps them out of landfills. Teach your kids a valuable ecology lesson by example.

BIRTHDAY PARTY CRAZY

Remember when kid's birthday parties featured “Pin the Tail on the Donkey”, ice cream and birthday cake?  The guests were a few classmates and the birthday kid's grandparents.  At some point everyone would gather around the cake and sing “Happy Birthday”. Gifts would include a car model or some doll clothes.  Hula hoops were pretty cool.

Those days are gone.  We have entered the age of “Extreme” birthday parties.  “Pin the Tail on the Donkey” has been replaced with a live donkey.  The birthday cake has to be a creation worthy of a Food Network competition and follows a catered meal.

The pressure and expense of the “birthday circuit” have become impossible.  In addition to the soccer games and music lessons, the already over-busy kids have invitations to these enormous parties many weekends out of the school year.

According to family therapist Bill Doherty, one Minnesota family rented a bar for a princess-themed party.  Guests were picked up in limos.  The adults wore formal attire.  There was live music and even  champagne for the adults.

The birthday “princess” was turning 4!

Parents don't want their child to feel less important than their classmates and so the cycle continues.  The key here is to adhere to your own value system.  It is great to mark events such as birthdays but it is important to keep perspective.  As with most of our milestones, use this as a teachable moment.

When my daughter was at Dalton she gave a wonderful pair of mittens to one of her friends as a birthday gift only to have the kid come to my daughter's birthday and give her an expensive stereo system.  We called the mom, thanked her and returned the gift.  The next day I called the Class Mother and told her there was going to be a new gift rule: gifts had to be no more than $12.00.

Many children have three or four birthday parties each year: one for classmates, one for nuclear family, one for family friends and one at school.  It would be OK to cut this in half.  There can be one party for youngsters and one for adults.  Keep the list short.  Keep the party simple. The goal should be for the birthday child to enjoy spending time with friends and family.