Traditionally, “fleeing the nest” has been a rite of passage for kids heading off to college. Both children and parents look forward to the new life-stage. Kids eagerly anticipate their freedom. Parents dream of a clean, vacant extra room in the home.
According to a recent study from the largest student lender, Sallie Mae, this year more than half of the students surveyed lived at home while attending college. This is up nearly 9 percent from just last year with most of the rise coming from families with over $100,000 in yearly income.
The study also noted that there has been a noticeable change in the way college is paid for overall. Students are carrying a larger percentage of the cost, up 6 percent from four years ago. Parents are paying 7 percent less.
Along with choosing less expensive colleges, remaining in the family home has become another popular tool to help offset the high cost of higher education. Postponing the “fleeing of the nest” is not, however, without complications.
I discuss this topic in Money Still Doesn't Grow on Trees in a chapter on kids moving back home but it also applies to kids who don't leave.
Both parents and kids must have a set of rules. These rules won't be the same ones that you used when your kids were minors and you were completely responsible for them but your kids are not your roommates. Remember, it is still your house.
Two very important issues that you need to clarify up front are “who pays for what” and “my house, my rules”. Be specific. Negotiate a fair contract. For example, you're probably not going to set up a curfew but you want to be notified if your kid isn't going to be home when expected. On the other hand, you're not going to enter his or her room to gather dirty laundry from the floor. Coordinate on a reasonable budget to determine “who pays for what”.
Parents, forget those paint swatches and hold back on ordering that new treadmill. That “extra” room might not be vacant for a few more years!
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