The Reinvented Wedding

Twenty-seven thousand dollars is a lot of money for a party even if it is the most important day of your lives.  According to theKnot.com and WeddingChannel.com, that's what the average wedding now costs.  Costs are even higher in the more expensive markets such as New York City and Chicago.  This is a good and sensible reason for the recent trend toward more homespun and creative wedding receptions.

In this sluggish economy more and more couples are turning to simpler, intimate and sometimes off-beat ways to celebrate.  According to Amy Kaneko, an events planner in San Francisco, “the backyard is the new ballroom.  “I think people are waking up to the insanity that is the wedding market” said Marin County, California caterer Stacy Scott.

Couples are opting for simple ceremonies followed by downsized receptions including picnics, barbecues or simply inviting only closest family and friends utilizing such venues as public parks, backyards or the living rooms of friends or family.

Another reason for the new trend is that marrying couples are now at record high ages. According to Brides Magazine, the average age of the bride is now 27 and the average age for the groom is now 29.  Couples are busy and have to do their planning in the midst of work and other pressing commitments.  These simpler festivities can take as little as two weeks planning and coordinating.  Often guests are asked to bring their own chairs and cushions.  Some couples have even gone the “covered dish” route asking friends to bring food and beverages.

Several years ago I worked with a couple to budget a wedding for a feature on Oprah.  We put together a complete Las Vegas  wedding for ten thousand dollars.  The key, as with most financial decisions is having a budget and sticking to it.

It is essential that the marrying couple and family [if they will be shouldering some of the cost] assess their finances, make a budget within their means and meticulously adhere to the plan. You must accurately assess all costs that will be involved and be honest and realistic about them.  Also include a category for unexpected costs.

Stay within your means and don't let your emotions get in the way of your financial health. If you can't afford an exorbitantly priced new designer gown, consider buying a gently used one or perhaps borrowing a gown from family or a friend.  You can always have the dress tailored to fit you which is far more cost effective than buying a new one.  If you are going to have your reception at a restaurant consult with the establishment to find a cheaper time of year or day of the week.  It's OK to break with tradition.

These are all great ideas even in better economic times.  Often the year of preparation and lavishness of the traditional wedding can overshadow the real meaning of the gathering.  These less formal, less frenetic celebrations make for a special day that everyone can enjoy and remember.